


Head Over Skis: A Very Merry Christmas

by CMeWrite



Category: Orphan Black (TV)
Genre: Christmas, Comedy, F/F, Fluff, Love
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-12-24
Updated: 2016-12-24
Packaged: 2018-09-11 13:34:57
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,863
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8982049
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CMeWrite/pseuds/CMeWrite
Summary: Christmas has always been a special time for Cosima and Delphine and this one is no exception. In fact, this may turn out to be their most exciting Christmas yet.*Probably best enjoyed if you've already read Head Over Skis*





	

“Cosima,” Delphine calls out from the kitchen, “did you remember to get the—”

“Marshmallows,” Cosima finishes the thought as she plops a grocery bag on the counter. “I got little ones for the hot chocolate and big ones for the s’mores."

"You're the best, my love,” Delphine kisses her.

“Do you realize this is the first time in 12 years we haven't spent Christmas in France?”

“Technically, it's the first time in my life I haven't spent Christmas in France.” 

“I meant as a couple, but now that you mention it, are you pissed you're not there this year?”

“Pissed? Cosima, the only thing I'm pissed about right now is that I can't manage to get up without assistance.”

“Yeah, these big bellies make basic tasks ridiculously difficult. I needed a stock boy to bend down and get me the marshmallows.” 

“We couldn't have flown like this anyway.” 

“I know, but maybe we should have planned this better. When i suggested we try to get pregnant at the beginning of the year, I didn't do the math.”

“I did.” 

“You did?”

Delphine nods, “This is such a special time of year for us, I thought it would be nice to have the babies arrive during the winter season.” 

“It will be, I just don’t want you to be upset about not being with your family. 

“I am so far from upset. Besides, you and the kids, you’re my family.” A chocolate labradoodle suddenly barks. “And Percy, of course. I didn’t forget you, boy.” She gives him a candy cane shaped dog treat and he scampers off. “I can't wait ’til the babies get here and complete our family. Our little miracles,” she rubs her belly. 

“We still need to decide on their names.” 

"Sunday and Monday," a little voice shouts. 

"No, buddy, I told you we are not naming your sisters after days of the week," Cosima laughs. "Why did the school have to teach him that?"

"Because that’s the kind of thing they learn in kindergarten.”

“He learns more at home.”

“Cosima, the days of the week are important. You teaching him the periodic table of elements, was not.”

“Hey, he’s the only kid in that whole class that knows it by heart.”

“They’re five years old, they’re not supposed to know that.”

“Our son is just a genius and they’re all average.”

“I’m a genius,” the brown, curly-haired boy repeats.

“You know it,” Cosima gives him a high five.

“Rocky, go take your seat at the table,” Delphine instructs, “dinner is almost ready.”

“Oui, Maman,” Rocky scampers off to the dining room table.

“I can’t believe you made all this.”

“You know the Cormiers don’t do small Christmas Eve dinners.”

“But you’re 8 months pregnant.”

“That never stopped Mémé. Besides, once we got married, they started training me in the art of the réveillon.”

“I married into a family of superwomen,” Cosima marvels.

“And don’t you forget it,” Delphine gives her another kiss.

Screams of “Mommy,” roar through the baby monitor on the kitchen counter.

“You’re being paged.”

“Percy,” Cosima calls the pup over, “go upstairs and check on Maddie.”

“Cosima!”

“Delphine, you know how hard it is to walk up and down a flight of stairs like this. Why did we get a dog if not to help with child care?” Percy goes running up the stairs. “See?”

“Yes, I do know, Cosima, this is my third time being pregnant. It’s only your first, so you’re stuck with stairs duty. Please get her before she comes down on her own.”

“Fine,” Cosima waddles her way up the stairs and into the second bedroom on the right. “Hey, Mads.”

“Mommy!” the tiny pigtailed blonde squees.

“Did you have a good nap?”

“Yeah!”

“Do you want to go down for dinner?”

“Yeah!”

“Alright, come on,” Cosima extends her hand.

“Carry me.”

“You know I can’t carry you, baby, your sister is in the way, you can walk.”

“Up, up, up, up, up,” she wails incessantly.

“How about I give you an extra candy cane after dinner if you walk downstairs?”

“Okay,” she immediately agrees as she takes Cosima’s hand and walks down the stairs with her. When they get to the table, Cosima groans as she lifts her into her high chair. 

“She wanted me to carry her down again.”

“I heard. What did you have to offer her this time?”

“An extra candy cane.”

“You know Rocky’s going to want an extra one, too?”

“Good thing I bought the bulk package. I think there’s like 100 in there.”

“Mommy, sit,” Maddie yells.

“I’m helping Maman with dinner, Mads,” Cosima responds. “Why is Rocky so patient and she’s so crazy?”

“Because she’s 2 1/2,” Delphine chuckles. “And she just wants your attention, she’s jealous of the baby getting in the way of you playing with her.” 

“She’s not screaming at you and you’ve got a baby in the way, too.”

“I don’t roll around on the floor with her all day. She misses playing with Mommy.”

“Well, now I feel bad.”

“Cosima, you give them both plenty of attention, it’s just a phase. Rocky went through it when I was pregnant with Madeline, but once the baby arrives, they realize they have someone new to play with. We just have to make sure we spend quality time with each of them.”

“Do you think four kids is going to be too much?”

“Yes, but we can handle it.”

Cosima laughs, “I’m glad I have you to give it to me straight, so to speak. I guess we can do anything together.”

“Yes, we can, and right now we need to serve this food.”

They fill four plates with turkey and chestnut stuffing, mashed sweet potatoes, cranberry sauce, foie gras, and scallops. They cut up the food into small pieces for the kids before placing their plates in front of them. 

“Okay, who is going to make the toast tonight?” Delphine asks.

“Me,” Rocky raises his hand.

“Okay, bud, you’re on,” Cosima says as they all hold up their grape juice. 

“À Vôtre Santé,” he carefully pronounces.

“Parfait, mon amour,” Delphine smiles.

“How is a 5 year old better at speaking French than me?”

“He’s a genius, just like you said. Joyeux Noël!” They all clink glasses, or, in the children’s case, sippy cups, and then dig in.

“Délicieux,” Cosima praises.

“See? You can say the important things, mon amour.”

After dinner, Cosima and Delphine clean up while the kids run into the living room with candy canes hanging from their mouths and continue work on the gingerbread house they started earlier in the day.

“Look at that masterpiece,” Cosima exclaims when she sees what the kids have built.

“It’s our house,” Rocky announces.

“I can tell, the resemblance is uncanny. But I think we have one less gumdrop on our house,” she pulls one off and pops it into her mouth.

“Mommy!” Maddie reprimands.

“Is she stealing candy again?” Delphine asks as she joins them.

“Yes,” Maddie nods.

“Hey, it’s not stealing if I’m the one who bought the gumdrops.”

“That really does look like our house,” Delphine agrees.

“Are you disappointed we’re not living in a mansion?”

“Absolutely not, this is so much more homey and we’ve got plenty of space. The kids have their own rooms, the babies will have their nursery and if they don’t want to share a room when they get older, we’ll turn the guest room into one of their bedrooms.”

“Or they’ll just share our bed like these two loons often do.”

“Do they make something bigger than a California king?”

“They better if it’s gonna fit the six of us.” Percy barks. “Make that seven.”

“We may need to put two side by side at this rate,” Delphine observes. “Who’s ready for dessert?” Rocky, Maddie, and Cosima all raise their hands. “Well, as you know, traditionally we do the 13 desserts when we’re in France, but this year, we’re doing our own little Cormier-Niehaus tradition, hot chocolate and s’mores by the fireplace.”

“Woohoo!” Cosima celebrates as the kids rush over to claim their spots around the fire.

Delphine serves the hot chocolate while Cosima loads marshmallows onto sticks and prepares the graham crackers with hershey bars. They all get to work making their s’mores and enjoying the fruits of their labor. 

After they’ve all consumed five s’mores each, Delphine puts an end to the sugar consumption. “Okay, we all need to actually get to sleep tonight so Santa will stop by. 

“Let’s leave the old guy a s’mores right here by the tree,” Cosima puts a plate down with the treat. 

Delphine wipes chocolate off the kids’ faces, and Cosima’s, “Lets go put our pajamas on and meet back down here for our traditional Christmas Eve living room slumber party and story time.”

Rocky rushes up the stairs while Delphine and Cosima walk Maddie up. They return a little while later in matching elf footie pajamas, even Percy has a little elf sweater on. After Cosima inflates their king size air mattress, they all get under piles of blankets, with the kids snuggled between Cosima and Delphine and the dog at their feet. 

“What Christmas story do you want to hear?” Cosima asks as she grabs her iPad. “'Twas The Night Before Christmas?”

“No, the wedding story!” Rocky requests.

“Technically, that's a two days after Christmas story.” 

“Tell it anyway.” 

“You've heard that one already, buddy.” 

“Maddie hasn’t." 

“Do you want to hear the wedding story, Mads?”

“Yes!” she nods profusely. 

“Please,” Rocky pleads.

“The children have spoken.”

“Okay, okay,” Cosima concedes, “wedding story it is.” She puts the iPad down beside the bed, as this is one story she knows by heart. “Once upon a time, in a country far, far away, that we’ll call France, I woke up to uncle Scotty banging on my hotel room door. At first I was sad, because for the first time in about 7 months, I reached over and your Maman wasn't in bed with me.” 

“Cosima, I think you can skip that part.”

“No, they need to hear the whole thing. You see, Maman believes in traditions and superstitions and didn't want me seeing her before she walked down the aisle. I was a little grumpy that she wasn't by my side to cuddle, but then uncle Scotty reminded me that it was my wedding day and I’d spend every night for the rest of my life with Delphine by my side and that perked me right up. I was so excited to marry your Maman, I even got to the church on time.” 

“Barely,” Delphine chimes in.

“Hey, I was staying at the hotel, it was a far drive. You were at Adeline’s, which is a short walk. Don't I get points for making it?”

“You got a ring on your finger and me for life, isn't that reward enough?”

“Absolutely,” Cosima smiles and kisses Delphine. 

"Keep going," Rocky implores

"Yeah," Maddie joins in. 

“Ok, ok, so I got to the church and all our closest friends and family were there to support us. Then I got into my red wedding dress and grandma and grandpa walked me down the aisle first cause there was no way I was gonna miss this beauty walking towards me. So I was standing there, uncle Scotty by my side, Auntie Danielle waiting on Maman’s side, when the doors at the back of the church swung open up and there she was. Imagine the most gorgeous thing in the universe and it still won't compare to how utterly breathtakingly beautiful your Maman looked in her white dress, with long flowing train, as grand-mère and grand-père walked her down the aisle. I know I must have had the dopiest grin on my face watching her.” 

“It wasn't dopey. Your smile is my favorite part of your body.”

“Oh, is it?”

“Yes, amongst a couple other parts,” she winks. “Mommy looked so stunning standing there smiling at me, it made me cry.” 

“Coffee commercials make you cry.” 

“Well that's because I love coffee almost as much as I love you.”

“Almost?”

“Just slightly less.”

“Do you love coffee more than us?” Rocky asks.

“No, I love the two of you a billion times more than I love coffee.” 

“Wow, okay, so I'm only slightly more loved than coffee, but these two nuts get a billion times more love? So not fair.” 

“Now, now, don't pout, I was just trying not to offend the coffee gods. I love you a billion times more than coffee, too. Satisfied?”

“Very,” Cosima nods. 

“Good, now continue the story.” 

“So Maman was walking towards me, tears streaking her face, and before I knew it, I caught the crying bug and tears were pouring down my face, also. Grand-père gave me Delphine's hand and I couldn't help myself, I kissed her. Then the pastor started screaming French obscenities at me.” 

“Cosima, he wasn't yelling and no obscenities left his lips. He said, ‘now is not the time for that Ms. Niehaus.’” 

“Maybe, but all I knew was that I was being reprimanded for kissing my soon to be wife, so I did what any logical person in my position would do and kept kissing her.”

“Until he came over and pried us apart.” 

“The nerve.” 

“Yes, how dare he try to get us to actually marry instead of just make out in front of a church full of wedding guests?” 

“So we wiped away each other's tears and took our spots on the altar. We repeated some French, your Maman much better than I, then we recited our own vows. Do you remember what you said?”

“Of course, I wrote you a poem.”

“Would you like to recite it for the children?”

Delphine looks into Cosima’s eyes,  
“It was a cold, winter's day  
when you came running my way.  
I took one look in your eyes  
and got a huge surprise.  
For, in them, I saw my whole life,  
starring you as my wife.  
I love you more than you will ever know,  
I love you even more than snow.”

“Then I cried some more because Maman is so poetic and adorable.” 

“Do you remember what you said to me?”

“Damn right, I do!” Cosima stares into Delphine’s eyes. “Delphine, from the moment we met, you have been the center of my universe. You are the sun by which my entire world revolves around. Without you, there would be only darkness. The greatest day of my life was the day I fell head over skis in love you. And, everyday since, I've just fallen deeper and deeper. Today, in front of our friends and family, I pledge my eternal life to you. Everything I do from here on out, I do as a we and not a me. And I really think we need to kiss again, so please tell him to get to the I dos.”

“Then I cried at Mommy’s beautiful sentiments, we exchanged rings and said our ouis, and then the pastor declared us wife and wife—”

“And I wasted no time kissing Maman again. I think it was about 5 minutes before I remembered everyone was staring at us.”

“Because they started heckling us about it.” 

“They were just jealous of me getting to make out with the most beautiful bride in the history of brides.”

“Au contraire, I had the most beautiful bride in the history of brides.” 

“We were both the most beautiful brides to ever bride. So we left the church as everyone cheered and then Jenna took a bajillion photos of us, even though we were freezing our butts off in the snow. Next, we got into the limo and made out some more on the way back to the hotel. Then we got to the honeymoon suite and—”

“Cosima,” Delphine warns. 

“And expressed our love how only married people do. Then we changed into our reception outfits and prayed we wouldn't mess up what we'd spent the last half a year preparing.” 

“Mommy looked so pretty in her little pale pink dress.”

“And Maman looked super hot in her black leather pants.” 

“Why was she so hot, it was Christmastime?”

“Mommy doesn't mean my temperature.” 

“Then what?” Rocky wonders.

“It's just a figure of speech. It means I thought Maman looked especially stunning.” 

“You both always look hot.”

"Thank you, mon prince," Delphine smiles at him then looks up at Cosima who's giggling. 

"Flattery will get you everywhere, buddy, don't ever forget that."

“What happened after Maman looked hot?”

“We took the elevator to the roof and the band began playing The Time of My Life and it was show time.”

“The singing and dancing?” Rocky asks gleefully.

“You know it, bud,” Cosima smiles.

“Show it, show it!” he chants.

“This is why you always want to hear this story, isn’t it, mon petit?”

“Oui, Maman.”

“He knows a cinematic treasure when he sees it,” Cosima says proudly as she grabs her iPad and brings up the recording of their wedding dance. She hits play and lets the kids hold the device.

“Mommies,” Maddie coos when Cosima and Delphine appear on screen.

“Now I’ve had the time of my life,” Delphine is seen singing. “No, I’ve never felt like this before.” She beckons Cosima over with her index finger. “Yes, I swear, it’s the truth, and I owe it all to you.” She spins Cosima into her.

“Cause I’ve had the time of my life and I owe it all to you,” Cosima sings in response.

The tempo picks up, Delphine kisses Cosima’s nose, and spins her back out as they begin dancing together with their guests whistling and cheering them on. 

The kids stare, transfixed, as they watch their mothers perform, with Delphine twirling and leading Cosima around the dance floor. Both of them continue to sing, both solo and in harmony.

“I’m surprised you didn’t get dizzy with the amount of times I spun you around,” Delphine laughs.

“Just dizzy with love,” Cosima grins.

As she watches Cosima and Delphine dance on the iPad, Maddie takes occasional glances up at them to remind herself that she’s actually seeing her mommies doing that, while Rocky smiles at the screen and bops his head to the music. 

“Look at your pelvis gyrations, babe,” Cosima points out, then fans herself. “That’s why I married you.”

“Mommy’s flying,” Maddie screams as Delphine does a little lift and spin with Cosima’s feet off the ground.

“Oh, you haven’t seen real flying yet,” Cosima warns. “Look at Maman’s solo. Is she not the sexiest thing you’ve ever seen?”

“What’s sexiest mean?” Rocky asks.

“It’s like hot, but even hotter.”

“Here it comes,” Delphine shouts and everyone goes silent as they watch Cosima run and jump towards Delphine, who catches her by her hips and lifts her over her head.

Maddie’s eyes pop and her mouth drops open at the sight of her Maman’s incredible feat of strength while Rocky claps.

Delphine holds Cosima up for about 3 seconds before placing her back down and hugging her in celebration as their guests go crazy hooting and applauding them.

“I still can’t believe we did that,” Cosima reminisces. 

“Adrenaline.”

“Want to try it right now, I’m only about,” she looks at her belly, “35 pounds heavier.”

“I think not,” Delphine laughs.

They glance down at the kids, Maddie still looks like she’s in shock. “You okay, there, Mads?” Cosima asks.

“Yeah,” the little girl nods.

They continue watching the rest of the wedding video; their guests dancing to the band with Meggie on lead vocals, everyone enjoying the exquisite meal, and their friends and family leaving them alternatingly sweet and goofy congratulatory messages. Delphine tears up watching Adeline’s message, then they both laugh as Scott delivers his man of honor speech, having had a few glasses of wine at that point and slurring his speech just a bit.

“I still love those Shelly the snow woman ice sculptures,” Delphine remarks.

“Yeah, those were great,” Cosima agrees, “really captured her snow essence.” 

“I’m so glad Kenny captured this part, too,” Delphine giggles as she watches herself smash a piece of their s’mores wedding cake in Cosima’s face, her bride quickly retaliating with an even larger slice in Delphine’s face.

“That was damn good cake,” Cosima rhapsodizes as she watches herself lick the frosting off of Delphine’s face. 

“That was a really wonderful wedding,” Delphine smiles as the video ends.

“Best I’ve ever had,” Cosima concurs.

“Only one you’ll ever have,” Delphine reminds.

“Only one I ever want to have.” Cosima looks down at the kids, who are now fast asleep, then back up at Delphine. She leans over their bodies, Delphine meeting her halfway, as they enjoy a kiss over their sleeping children. 

Cosima and Delphine then quietly place presents under the tree, Cosima eats Santa’s s’more, and they get back in bed with the kids.

———

“It’s Christmas!” Rocky screams.

“Christmas!” Maddie repeats as the kids jump up and down on the air mattress, waking Cosima and Delphine up.

“I think it’s Christmas,” Cosima mumbles.

“Wherever did you get that idea?” Delphine laughs.

“Get up, get up,” Rocky takes Delphine’s hand and Maddie takes Cosima’s as they try to pull them up and over to the tree.

“Okay, we’re coming, chill. Whoa,” Cosima puts her glasses on, ”look at all the presents Santa brought.”

“You must have both been very nice this year.”

Cosima starts laughing, “Santa must have them confused with the neighbors’ little angels.”

“Oh hush, we have perfect children.”

“Yeah, hush, Mommy,” Maddie agrees as she grabs a present with her name on it and shakes it. 

“Don’t just shake it, open it.”

Maddie rips off the wrapping paper. “Play-Doh sweet shoppe,” she shouts.

“She loves ice cream just like her mommy, even if it’s fake ice cream,” Delphine marvels.

“We’re gonna make some awesome sundaes with that thing, Mads.”

“Yeah!”

“Rocky, which one are you going to open first?” Delphine asks.

“This one,” he picks up a long package and unwraps it with more care then his sister. “Skis!” he celebrates.

“Maman is gonna to teach you to ski like she taught me just as soon as she's recovered from birthing your sister.”

“And if you ski anything like your Mommy, this should be quite interesting.”

“Hey, I’m an excellent skier.”

“You are now, not so much then.”

“Maybe I just faked the terrible to stay in your group.”

“No one can fake it that good.”

“Or bad,” Cosima laughs. “Mads, what’s that big one with your name on it?”

Maddie tears open another package, “A sled!”

“While Maman is teaching Rocky to ski, I’m gonna teach you how to sled.”

“You mean you’re just going to sled with her.”

“Same diff.”

“What about the babies?” Rocky wonders.

“The babies will have to wait until they're old enough to handle the snow.”

“Yeah, and then we’ll get them out there so you two can show them how it’s done.”

Rocky opens his next present, “Whoa, I’m gonna be like Mommies.”

“Yeah, bud, now you have your own microscope.”

“So cool!”

Percy comes over to see what’s going on. “We didn’t forget you, Percy.” Delphine hands him a stuffed snow woman dog toy. He takes it and runs off gnawing on it, causing it to squeak.

As the kids continue opening their presents, unwrapping tons of fun toys and games, Cosima picks up a present and hands it to Delphine. “I know we said we weren’t going to get each other presents this year since we put babies in each others’ bellies, but I couldn’t resist.”

“Cosima, you shouldn’t have.”

“Open it.”

Delphine unwraps and opens the box, then starts laughing when she sees what’s inside. 

“It’s not that funny.”

“Yes, it is.” Delphine grabs a present and hands it to Cosima, “Open this.”

“Are you kidding me?!?1” Cosima exclaims when she lays eyes on her gift.

They both hold up their presents in front of them, Delphine’s is a shirt that says World’s Greatest Maman, while Cosima’s is the exact same shirt, but it says World’s Greatest Mommy.

“I think we’ve been together too long,” Cosima laughs, “we’re sharing one brain now.”

“Possibly,” Delphine laughs, “but I wouldn’t have it any other way. Joyeux Noel.” 

“Merry Christmas.” They kiss as the kids run around playing with their gifts. 

A couple hours later, there’s a knock at the door.

“Who could that be?” Cosima ponders while Rocky runs to answer.

“Who is it?” he asks. 

“Ho Ho Ho.”

Rocky looks to Cosima, who nods, “You can open it.”

Rocky unlocks and swings open the door, revealing a man with long brown hair and goatee wearing a Santa hat. “Ho ho ho, Santa Tony is here!”

“Uncle Tony,” Rocky hugs him.

“Hey, there, Rocky Road, Merry Christmas!”

“What did you bring me?” Maddie asks as she points to his Santa sack.

“Hello to you, too, Mad Hatter,” he laughs.

“Guys, let Uncle Tony come in before you badger him,” Cosima instructs as she and Delphine approach them. 

“Whoa, Dreads, look at you. How much did you eat last night?”

“That’s a baby,” Rocky laughs.

“Oh, a baby! Well that makes sense, I was worried you ate the whole turkey yourself.”

“Come here, dummy,” Cosima pulls him in for a hug.

“Joyeux Noel, Tony,” Delphine smiles.

“Now that is how you birth a baby,” Tony marvels as he looks Delphine over. “Curls, you look marvelous, as always.”

“Thank you.”

He touches both of their bellies, “How are Thing 1 and Thing 2 doing?”

“They’re eager to get out,” Delphine responds.

“I can tell. Damn those are some high kickers. I think you have a couple future Rockette’s brewing in there.”

Maddie pulls on his hand, “Presents.”

“Okay, little lady, if you insist,” Tony reaches into his sack and hands each of them a gift. Percy barks at him, “Don’t worry, Percival, I didn’t forget you.” He pulls a pair of furry antlers with little bells on them out of his sack and places them on Percy’s head. 

They all open their presents and Cosima laughs at what they’ve all received, “Dude, these ugly sweaters are hilarious.” 

Cosima pulls hers on, it says, ‘Let’s Get Baked’ around the image of a gingerbread man.

“Very appropriate,” Delphine giggles. She then puts hers on, it feature the body of a reindeer, and comes with a hoodie that completes his head and eyes, but the best part is the red light up nose that fits over her own with an elastic strap.

“Oh my god, Delphine, you look so cute,” Cosima takes a photo then gives her a kiss.

“Look at me,” Maddie models her sweater which is decorated with tons of little pom poms, bows, and puffy paint to make her look like an actual gingerbread man.

“You look good enough to eat,” Tony chases her around.

“How about mine?” Rocky asks as he shows off his sweater which says, ‘Yeti to Party?’ around an image of the Abominable Snowman with light up eyes and his tongue hanging out through his sharp teeth.

“You look scary and a little drunk,” Cosima laughs.

“We have something for you, as well,” Delphine hands Tony a present.

“That’s huge, what can it be?” he shakes it.

“Don’t just shake it, open it,” Maddie repeats what Cosima said to her earlier.

“Alright, Miss Bossypants,” Tony rips off the wrapping paper. “No way! You got me an electric guitar?”

Delphine nods, “Cosima said you recently started to play.”

“Oh man, this is awesome. Thank you,” he hugs them both.

“It’s the least we could do, considering why you’re here.” 

“Oh, come on, it’s my pleasure.. You needed an extra set of arms to help you with these little monsters when the babies arrive and I always wanted to experience a real winter. Where better to go than cold-ass Toronto?”

“Our kids are lucky to have such a great manny watching after them.”

“Let’s see if you’re still saying that after I play this bad boy day and night.”

“Hey, it’ll be better than the screaming and crying these two are gonna do.”

“True. So explain to me again how you’re having those kids without any kind of dude stuff involved?”

“It’s something Delphine and I had been working on in the lab. We wanted to figure out a way for same sex couples to have biological children together, if that’s something they really desired.”

“And since we had always planned to have four children, we used ourselves as the guinea pigs, so to speak.”

“Basically, we used skin cells to make artificial sperm, then mine were injected into Delphine’s egg and vice versa and, bam, it worked.”

“She’s making it sound a lot simpler than it was, it’s taken us several years to work out the science and perfect the process.”

“That’s amazing and so totally sci-fi.”

“Well, I can assure you, we are not carrying alien babies.”

“Yeah, they won’t be popping out through our bellies, they’re gonna come out the natural way.”

“That’s a relief.”

“You must be hungry, come on, let’s eat.”

“You read my mind,” Tony grins as he follows them into the kitchen.

After a day of food and fun, Cosima and Delphine put the kids and Tony to bed before retreating to their room.

“Alone at last,” Cosima wiggles her eyebrows suggestively as she watches Delphine undress.

“Cosima, seriously? I’m as big as a house.”

“So am I,” Cosima reminds as she takes her own clothes off. “You know you’re drop dead gorgeous whether you’re pregnant or not.”

“And you are still the absolute cutest thing I have ever seen,” Delphine compliments.

“Everybody’s asleep,” Cosima approaches Delphine, “the babies will be here soon, this could be one of the last moments of peace we have for years.”

“Years?” Delphine laughs. 

“You never know.”

“Oh, I know you, and I know it won’t be years.”

“You look so sexy right now, but if you don’t wanna,” she turns.

Delphine grabs her arms, “I didn’t say I don’t want to.” She pulls Cosima back to her, their bellies bouncing off one another as they try to go in for a kiss.

Cosima starts hysterically laughing, “This is not going to be easy.”

“No it’s not,” Delphine giggles. “I think you were right.”

“About what?”

“About this being like two sumo wrestlers trying to have sex.” 

“Oh my god, I forgot about that, it really is,” she laughs. “Well, let the sumo sex commence… somehow.”

It takes them about 10 minutes to find a comfortable position in bed where they aren’t banging into each other, at least not in the way they intended to, before they find just the right angle to please them both. Exhausted, they fall asleep immediately after succeeding, very well, at the sumo sex.

“Cosima,” Delphine shakes her wife hours later. 

“Hmm,” Cosima mumbles.

“Cosima, wake up.” 

“What's the matter?”

“My water broke.” 

“What?” Cosima shoots awake. “Holy watershed! Literally. Okay, okay, let’s get you dressed. And me dressed.” Cosima helps Delphine get into sweats and does the same. She then grabs Delphine’s labor bag.

As she walks Delphine down the hall, Cosima stops at Tony’s door and peeks in, “Hey, Tony.”

“Yeah?”

“Delphine’s water broke.”

“Was it all that sex you were having?” 

“Oh mon dieu,” Delphine blushes.

“Probably,” Cosima responds. “I’m gonna get her to the hospital, I’ll call you with updates. Tell the kids when they get up and you can bring them over to the hospital later. The keys to Delphine’s car are on the hook in the kitchen.”

“Got it, the kids are in good hands, just go take care of your girl. Good luck!”

“Thank you.”

Cosima drives to the hospital, then grabs a wheelchair and rushes in with Delphine, “My wife is in labor. Can we get a nurse over here?”

“Cosima?” Delphine interrupts. 

“Yeah?”

“I think you are, too.”

“What?” She follows Delphine’s eye-line and realizes her own water has broken, “Make that both of us.”

The nurses get Cosima in a wheelchair, as well, and wheel them up to labor and delivery.

“Wait, you’re not putting us in separate rooms. We’re doing this together,” Delphine demands.

“That’s not labor protocol,” the nurse responds.

“Fuck protocol, have you ever had two wives going into labor at the same time? I don’t think so. Put us together or my wife will beat you up,” Cosima threatens.

“Sheila,” the nurse calls out to her colleague, “we’re going to need to bring another bed in here.” 

The nurses get them situated in a room together, with their beds side by side. “We’ve paged Dr. Parks, she should be here shortly.”

Cosima calls Tony to let him know what’s going on, while Delphine calls Scott to be their backup labor coach. 

“You doing okay?” Delphine asks.

“I’ve felt a couple contractions, but not too bad, you?”

“They’re a little more frequent, but manageable.”

“I can’t believe we’re in labor at the same time, you were supposed to be a couple weeks behind me and your water breaks first.”

“Yes, but this is my third time, so early labor isn’t uncommon.”

“The sex didn’t help.”

“Or it helped too much,” Delphine laughs.

“I did this to us,” Cosima laments. “It was the pregnancy hormones, I couldn’t control myself.”

“Cosima, we did this to ourselves. Come on, going into labor because of last night isn’t the worst way to go.”

“No,” Cosima smiles, “it was a pretty spectacular way to go.”

“But it could also just be that the girls were ready to make their arrivals. They probably heard how much fun we were all having and wanted to join in.”

“Yeah, I’d want to partake in all that food, too. Oh man, we ate so many s’mores, they’re gonna start out addicted.”

“As if they wouldn’t anyway being your children - oh my.”

“What?”

“That was a much more painful contraction.”

“Oh my? That was the least pained way to express pain ever.”

“Knock, knock,” a voice at the door interrupts. “Can I come in?”

“Hey, Scotty, yeah, come on in.”

“I can’t believe you’re both in here.”

“Tell me about it. We wanted you here in case one of us passes out.”

“One of us?” Delphine laughs. “I’m certainly not passing out.”

“Okay, fine, in case I pass out from the pain, Delphine will need support.”

“I’m at your service. Where are the kids?”

“They’re at home with Tony, he’ll bring them by later.”

“How was your Christmas?”

“It was great,” Delphine smiles. “How was yours?” 

“Awesome, we played D&D for 12 hours straight yesterday.”

“Thrilling,” Cosima rolls her eyes.

“Oh stop,” Delphine chastises. “Ooh.”

“Another super painful contraction?”

“Shut up and yes.”

“What’s this I hear about my two very special patients going into labor simultaneously?”

“Hi, Dr. Parks,” Cosima waves, “yeah, just me and the Mrs. never doing anything the easy way.”

“I’d expect nothing less.”

“This our doula, Scott,” Cosima introduces.

“Hello, Scott, nice to meet you.”

“I’m not… she’s joking… I’m a scientist.” 

“Scientist yesterday, doula today, Scotty boy.”

“I don’t know if you want to stay here for this or not, but I am going to examine my patients.”

“I’ll step outside.”

“Chicken,” Cosima yells after him.

“You’re always so sweet to Scott,” Delphine shakes her head as the doctor begins examining Cosima.

“How are you feeling, Cosima?”

“I’m okay, some tinges since my water broke, but not terrible. How does it look down there?”

“You’re 3 centimeters dilated, you’ve still got a ways to go. Did you make a decision about whether you’ll want an epidural?”

“I don’t know, we’ll see, probably.”

Delphine laughs, “Probably?”

“Hey, no comments from the peanut gallery.”

Dr. Parks moves over to examine Delphine, “You are well on your way, Delphine. 7 centimeters.”

“7, but she’s, like, hardly feeling anything?”

“She’s done this before and she’s quite tough. No drugs again I presume?”

Delphine shakes her head, “Not necessary.”

“My wife is one tough mother,” Cosima says proudly.

“Mommies,” Rocky rushes into the room.

“Hey, buddy,” Cosima smiles as he climbs up on their beds and settles between them.

“Are my sisters coming now?”

“They are,” Delphine nods. 

Tony walks in carrying Maddie, “Sorry, he ran ahead of us.” Maddie holds her arms out towards Cosima and Tony hands her over.

“Hi, Mads,” Cosima kisses her cheek and Maddie climbs over Rocky to kiss Delphine.

“Bonjour, mon ange.”

Scott reenters the room, “Hi Tony, good to see you again.”

“You, too, Smithy.”

“Hello, you two,” he waves at the kids.

“Hi, Scott,” Rocky responds as they wave back.

“You excited to meet your sisters?”

“Yeah!” Maddie shouts.

“They’ll be here soon,” Delphine assures.

After spending time with the kids and the guys, Delphine turns towards Cosima and gives her a look.

“Okay, kiddos, Tony is going to take you to the vending machine, a nurse will come get you a little later.”

“Bye,” Rocky kisses Delphine and Cosima before hopping off the bed.

Maddie kisses their bellies, “Bye my babies.”

“You’ll see the babies soon, Mads.”

Tony gives the girls a double thumbs up before taking the kids’ hands and leading them into the hall.

“She called them her babies,” Delphine tears up.

“That was sweet,” Cosima nods. “But, babe, is it time?”

“Yes.”

“Scotty, get the doctor. Delphine is ready to pop.”

Scott runs out and comes back with Dr. Parks and her team. 

“Let’s see where you are,” the doctor examines her. “10 centimeters, that was fast.”

“Too fast?” Cosima asks.

“No, having already had two previous vaginal deliveries, a faster labor is normal.”

Cosima reaches for Delphine’s hand and squeezes it, “How you feeling now?”

“The contractions are much more frequent and extreme, I didn’t want to worry the kids.”

“Alright, babe, don’t be a hero, you squeeze my hand. Scotty, can you get a wet washcloth for her head.”

“On it,” Scott grabs a towel by the sink and holds it under the faucet, then brings it over and places it on Delphine’s forehead.

“Thank you, Scott.”

“No problem, anything you need, I’m here for both of you.”

“Thanks, Scotty.”

“Ohhh,” Delphine shrieks and squeezes Cosima’s hand. “Ohhh.”

“This little girl is very eager to meet her mommies,” the doctor laughs as she peeks under the sheet. “She’s crowning, you know the routine, Delphine, are you ready?”

Delphine nods and begins her breathing exercises. 

“Scotty, massage her neck.” Scott gets behind Delphine and gently rubs her neck and shoulders.

“Delphine, when you feel those contractions, I want you to push, okay?”

“Okay.”

“You got this, babe,” Cosima encourages as she squeezes Delphine’s hand.

Delphine looks over and smiles at Cosima just before a big contraction hits and she pushes.

“Good, Delphine, just like that,” the doctor encourages. This pushing continues for several minutes. “Alright, one more.”

“One more,” Cosima encourages. “I love you, Delphine, you’re doing so great.”

“Je taime,” Delphine screams as she squeezes Cosima’s hand hard and gives one last huge push.

“She’s out, your baby girl is here,” Dr. Parks announces as the baby comes out crying. After cleaning her off, they place the baby in Delphine’s arms.

“She’s so beautiful,” Delphine weeps and holds her so Cosima can get a good look.

“She’s perfect, just like you,” Cosima coos.

“Cosima, think you can lean down here and cut the cord?”

“Oh, for sure.” Nurse Sheila helps Cosima reach down and cut the cord. Cosima kisses the baby’s head, followed by Delphine’s lips, “You did great.” Cosima looks up at Scott, who is furiously wiping tears from his eyes, “You okay there, Scotty?”

“Yup, yeah, totally,” he runs his sleeve over his eyes then puts his glasses back over his eyes. “She’s a beauty.”

“Thank you for helping, Scott.”

“My pleasure.”

“Ow my ow!” Cosima yelps and clutches her belly.

“Lay back down, Cosima,” Dr. Parks instructs.

“Scott, can you please get a wet cloth for Cosima?” Delphine inquires.

“On it.”

“Fuck!” Cosima shouts as another contraction hits her.

“6 centimeters,” Dr. Parks announces.

“That’s it?” Cosima gasps. 

“Do you want the epidural?”

“I don’t know.”

“Cosima, if you’re in pain…”

“How the hell did you do this so many freakin’ times?” Cosima screams.

“It’s not that bad.”

“Not that bad? I think this kid actually might be an alien tearing me up from the inside out. Tell Tony he was right.”

Scott places the wet towel on Cosima’s forehead and starts massaging her neck, “Try to relax.”

“Relax? You try getting ready to push a bowling ball out of your body and then tell me how easy it is to relax.”

“Mommy is not enjoying this,” Delphine laughs to the baby.

“What makes you think I’m not enjoying this?” Cosima rolls her eyes just as another contraction hits, “Holy sh—“

“Cosima, there’s a baby present,” Delphine reminds, “control your swearing.”

“Sugar plums,” Cosima finishes.

“7 centimeters, what do you want to do, Cosima?”

“Don’t be a hero, my love. Take the epidural.”

“Okay, okay do it.” By the time she starts feeling the effect of the drug, she’s at 8cm. “She’s really taking her sweet time getting here,” Cosima complains.

Scott and Delphine simultaneously bust out laughing at the irony of that statement. “Like mother, like daughter,” Delphine points out.

Cosima sticks her tongue out at Delphine, then smiles at the baby looking up at her, “I guess it’s worth it for the end result.” 

“It is,” Delphine assures as she takes Cosima’s hand and gives it a comforting squeeze. “We’re right here with you, the whole way.”

Two hours go by before Dr. Parks announces that Cosima is 10 centimeters dilated. “She’s getting close, as soon as she starts crowning, it’s go time.”

“Oh god,” Cosima starts panicking, “I don’t know if I can do this.”

“You can,” Delphine assures. “Remember how sure you were you’d never learn to ski without falling on that cute tush of yours?”

“Yeah.”

“Well, you did it, and now you’re such a great skier.”

“But I had three weeks to practice and improve then, now I’ve gotta do this without any training.”

“You’ve been by my side three times now, Cosima,” Delphine brings Cosima’s hand to her lips and kisses her palm. “I know it’s not the same as doing it yourself, but you know how this works. You’re going to do your breathing exercises and push her out. I coached you through skiing and I’m going to coach you through birthing just as successfully. Now give me a kiss because, once you start pushing, you may hate me.”

“Never,” Cosima shakes her head as Delphine leans in and kisses her softly.

“Okay, if you two are done smooching, we’ve got a baby crowning down here,” Dr. Parks laughs.

“You can do this, my love,” Delphine rubs her nose tenderly against Cosima’s.

Cosima nods, squeezes Delphine’s hand and begins pushing. “Are you kidding me?” she shouts through her first big push. 

“Don’t overextend your V,” Delphine jokes.

“I’m trying my best not to,” she pushes again and again and again.

“You’re doing so good, Cosima,” Dr. Parks reassures. “She’s almost out.”

“Breathe, chérie. Hee hee hoo,” Delphine demonstrates.

“Hee hee holy watermelon,” Cosima shouts as she pushes the baby completely out.

“Baby girl number 2 is here,” the doctor rejoices over the baby’s crying. “Excellent work, Cosima.”

“I did it?”

“You did,” Delphine nods.

“That was intense,” Cosima laughs. Her laughter quickly turns to tears as they place the baby in her arms. “Hey, sweetheart,” she coos. 

Delphine starts crying again at the sight of Cosima cuddling the gurgling baby.

“Delphine, it’s your turn to cut the cord.”

“This is a first,” she smiles as she does the honors then kisses her wife and child. 

“Thanks, coach,” Cosima grins.

“Anytime.”

They glance up to see Scott sobbing, “Look, girls, your Uncle Scotty is such a softie.”

“This was just so amazing,” he sniffles.

“Hey, hey,” Tony knocks, “we heard you’ve got two more mouths to feed.”

The kids run in past Tony to their mommies’ sides. “We want to see our sisters.”

“Alright, Rocky, climb up. Scott can you give Maddie a boost.”

“Babies!” Maddie exclaims joyfully.

“Congratulations!” Tony smiles.

“Thanks, dude.”

“Know what you’re gonna call them yet?”

“No, but I’m sure whatever we choose, you’ll come up with great nicknames for them.”

“Oh, you can count on that, Dreads.”

After spending a few more hours together, Delphine glances at the clock, “It’s getting late, the kids should go home and get to bed.”

“But we want to stay with you,” Rocky whines.

“Hey, buddy, we’ll see you tomorrow. The babies need to rest and so do Maman and I.”

“Promise we’ll see you tomorrow?”

“Cross my heart. Uncle Tony will bring you both back, right, Tone?”

“Absolutely.”

“Okay, bye bye,” Rocky kisses and hugs all four of them before hopping off the bed. 

“Love you, babies,” Maddie kisses her sisters. “Love you, Mommies,” she kisses Cosima and Delphine.

“We all love you, too,” Delphine smiles. 

“See you tomorrow, get some rest.”

“Thanks, Tone.”

“I better get going as well,” Scott announces. “I’m sure Denise is foraging for food by now.”

“Scott, thank you so much for everything.”

“Yeah, Scotty, you were a big help. Thanks!”

“You know I’m always here for you both. I love you guys.”

“Love you, too, Scotty.”

He leaves and they feed the babies. “This is incredible,” Delphine marvels. 

“The last thing I expected was for us to give birth back to back like that.”

“It was kind of fitting, I think. We always do things in our own special way.”

“This was the most special.”

“It really was,” Delphine agrees. 

The babies finish feeding and the four of them lay in silence, reveling in their good fortune. 

After a while, Delphine looks over at Cosima, who’s staring at the baby in her arms with a curious expression, “What’s going on in that brilliant head of yours?”

“Oh, I was just thinking that we have the girls because you and I are scientists, and you and I are scientists thanks to all the great female scientists that came before us, many of whom didn’t get half the recognition for their achievements that men did. Like Rosalind Franklin and her contributions to the discovery of the structure of DNA, but Watson and Crick get all the credit. And, more recently, Anne McLaren and all the developmental biology work she did that led to IVF, but hardly anyone knows her name, especially outside of England. How would you feel about naming the girls in honor of them?”

“I think that’s a wonderful idea.”

Cosima glances down at the smiling baby in her arms, “How about Rosie for this little nugget,” she looks over at the resting baby in Delphine’s arms, “and Annie for that sleeping beauty?” 

“Annie and Rosie,” Delphine repeats, “I like it.”

“Hey, look at the clock.”

“It’s midnight,” Delphine smiles. “Happy Anniversary!”

“The happiest anniversary, ever,” Cosima responds as she leans over and kisses Delphine.


End file.
